One of my ongoing projects is to work through end-of-chapter problems in my EE textbooks. The reminiscence of this activity to late nights spent making mentally taxing progress on homework during past school years is obvious, but now the problem solving is accompanied by an ever-present sense of accomplished inconsequence. The feeling is strongest when I encounter a problem that I’m unable to solve. Where before, this result might have been a seed of anxiety, my impression now is that in some way I’ve already conquered the problem by virtue of having graduated.

I’m at work now, writing this in a notebook, and someone talking on the phone in a room near mine just exemplified a type of communication error that I’ve noticed is not uncommon here: the speaker articulates incorrect and specific information (e.g. calendar date, specification #), quickly identifies their mistake, and articulates the correct information. Misspeaking is liable to happen when avoiding loss of conversation control takes precedence over accuracy of information shared, which is especially the case in meetings between owner, contractor, and sub-contractor. Avoiding loss of conversation control is usually achieved by not allowing pauses in oration to surface, and where a pause to fact check/access memory would normally have been, the filler information might be false. The cynical, unfortunate thing about misspeaking is that, even though the speaker quickly corrects their error, the initial and false utterance often leaves a stronger impression. Correcting the error is like using Wite Out on a document: the reader can tell that there was something else there before, and the new thing that is there now does not seamlessly replace it.