Every day at work there are lulls where I’m left on my own to spend an hour or two as I wish. I’ve heard from former interns who recall with theatrical exhaustion the weeks they spent in certain departments without being tasked with anything, and how their time in these departments was characterized by boredom. I don’t think I could get bored if I tried.
Whether they know it or not, many people are grateful for the negative connotations boredom has and that the term is linked to the outward appearance of doing nothing. These conditions make boredom indistinguishable from internal reflection from the point of view of people on the outside and, consequently, a prime candidate for enabling the avoidance of situations that would encourage internal reflection. Whereas a person’s stated goal of avoiding situations conducive to reflection would be frowned upon, a stated goal of avoiding boredom would be met with approval and the allocation of resources to aid in the goal’s achievement. Playing this sleight of hand, no matter how second-nature it has become, is an acknowledgment that they know they’re not being honest. Their shameful secret is that they don’t want to be put in a situation conducive to reflection because it’s been so long since they’ve listened to themselves that the barrage of thoughts would be overwhelming and they’re afraid of what they would hear.
If I want to be reminded of reality’s humorous fragility, I lean back in my chair in my office and remember living in a homeless shelter and sleeping on a mattress that was inspected for bed bugs.
Often, during the lulls, I’ll write or draw things to be later added here. I need to buy a scanner. Today I drew some brains with arrows pointing into and out of them. Also I drew a 2-D graph with Susceptibility To Being Dominated plotted against Time. Those posts should show up next week.
A girl who used to be my friend continues to regularly check this blog even though we’re not on communicating terms. She says she reads it to make sure I’m not going to get on a plane to try and see her. Two things about this that render it pointless: 1. Her fear will never be realized because she wasn’t comfortable for me to be around, I don’t know her address, and I don’t want to see her again. 2. While I write lightly about what’s happening in my life, I’m guaranteed never to share every flight itinerary I have in the future, and some trips will likely only be mentioned and written about after I’ve returned from them. While odd, it doesn’t really bother me that she keeps checking this page; I guess I’m mostly surprised that, even without contact, I can influence a former friend’s behavior that much.
That last bit about flight itinerary was intended as a segue to the following. Travis setup a couple Thought Trade shows, so I’ll be flying to Fairbanks sooner and more frequently than expected. Mark your calendars and come see us at The Marlin Nov 14th and Dec 12th.