Of the most distinguished homeless people in this country, one lives here in Fairbanks. I’ve written about him before, the character who speaks as though reading from a bible of endless passages written by a schizophrenic. And yet, in the midst of his signature style of oration submerged in an ancient grammar and spoken with an almost stutter, he’ll drop references to the here and now, so that you can’t doubt he is cognizant of at least a version of reality not helplessly different from those of people with a home.

He is between 40 and 50, never asks for anything, but rejects offers of assistance, respectfully declining my father’s gift of hole-less shoes because he enjoys the hardship that is afforded him by walking in shoes that are falling apart. He is seemingly always on the move, walking everywhere, miles and miles, and seems healthier for it. In spite of his history of living in the woods, he is hygienically cleaner than many people with money and wears layers of clothing that, while worn, are free of odor. He is the author of such one liners as “A question mark is half a heart.” and, with reference to a wounded/dying squirrel “It did not put forth a sound of joy.” He goes by several names. I know him as John.

That was a longer introduction than I was intending. Longer, even, than what will be written regarding traffic. I bring him up in the interest of coupling together posts of similar topic.

One of the things John may do when at the corner of a 4-way intersection is illustrated below.

I think you would be hard-pressed to find an engineer who doesn’t look admirably upon the choice of diagonal crossing. Based on a 45-45-90 triangle, it’s 29% more efficient than walking two perpendicular line segments, as the law would have you do.

I feel like my sentences are running ever-longer, even if they’re not run-ons. That I can’t refrain from mentioning prison terms are steadfast is terribly frustrating, given my hatred of puns.