Won Spring mourning a disgruntled fella shook his girl awake, saying “Weave know cache, sew cum hear, lett mi beet yew wit my karat.” Instead, she rolled over, blue hymn a kiss, and razed her hand, as if two waive buy-by.

What would truly be impressive is if someone wrote a couple paragraphs composed entirely out of this sort of thing and was able to make it intelligible on both levels: from the literal meanings of the words written as well as from the pronunciation point of view.