Ever since I dropped out of EE 354 last Spring, I’ve been followed by a shadowy fear lingering behind the scenes. 354 is a prerequisite for 434 and, having dropped 354 last spring, the only way I could graduate this coming May would be to take 354 and 434 together, 354 acting as a co-requisite. Throughout the Summer and last Fall I was comforted in the knowledge that other students had been given permission to do this, and that I had a classmate who would be attempting this herself at the same time. Still, last semester it was sometimes difficult to concentrate on my coursework knowing that whatever victory I might manage in finishing the semester with good marks could be rendered bittersweet if I was denied permission to take these two courses side by side the following semester.
Finally, today, this lingering fear has been decisively dealt with.
Shall this student be allowed to take 354 together with 434?
434 Instructor: yes
ECE Department Head: yes
Associate Dean: no
Verdict: no
The girl I referred to earlier was given permission since her final failing grade of ‘D’ confirms that she had been in 354 till the end, whereas my withdrawal ‘W’ indicates I was not. Their logic is sound, I’ve no reason to be angry with the Associate Dean; he’s doing his job of maintaining the integrity of the college such that the program will be ensured continued ABET accreditation.
It is a major blow, pushing my graduation back an entire year till May 2010 on account of a single 4 credit course, since it’s only offered in the Fall. It makes me wish I’d never dropped the course, or at least consulted with the Prof. beforehand, especially since she told me afterward that she was confident I would’ve done fine. I should’ve trusted my history of earning better grades than I anticipate.
I can’t help but wonder if I have an aversion to success. Maybe, inexplicably, I was hoping this would happen.
I’ve never wanted to leave Fairbanks more than now. My adviser predictably advises against dropping out of the program, but I’ve long known that I could not wait a further year to graduate. I want to move away from this place. I don’t know to where. Possibly a foreign country, though it’s unlikely I could become a citizen of any of the countries I’m interested in. After all, I’m sure that being 13 credits shy of a Bachelor’s of Science in Electrical Engineering is reduced to high school graduate as far as immigration officials are concerned. This place makes me sick. The university was the only thing keeping me here.
Update, Jan 28th: the Associate Dean reversed his decision, thereby restoring my May 2009 graduation. I got the phone call just a couple hours after dropping off a letter of appeal to the Dean’s office. It’s funny, though, since the Associate Dean’s change of mind was totally independent of my appeal to the Dean. Upon hearing the good news, I called the Dean’s secretary, informing her that the issue had been resolved, and asked that she dispose of the letter before the Dean arrived at the office, not wanting to jeopardize my good fortune by unleashing the unknown consequences of the Associate Dean being contacted by his superior about an issue he had already resolved in my favor.