Of the people who know me, maybe there are a couple who know that I seek out woven floss over all other varieties. The texture of woven floss results in a thorough clean. The fibrous strands act like a minuscule brush. But two things happened which, in combination, have changed my outlook. First, my conviction that woven floss is the superior type is less strong, and second, my opinion of one of the alternatives is heightened. There are real experiences behind these changes in opinion. What led to these changes? We’ll look at the first one first.

My conviction that woven floss is the superior type was weakened when I noticed the cloud of mint powder expanding outward from the floss box towards my face and into my nose as I advanced the floss while flossing. I suppose I should expand upon the method I employ to floss, as the problem of the mint powder cloud could probably be avoided if I flossed differently. Of most importance to me when flossing is that each tooth boundary is cleaned with a new segment of floss. To this end, I keep the floss box tucked in one hand and am frequently drawing out more floss with the other hand as I make progress around my teeth, letting the spent floss make its way, bit by bit, dangling to the bathroom floor.

What is this? This tone of this post and many others? Using expressions like ‘my conviction’? WTF? No, what the fuck? is better. Right, on with it…

Well, it’s during the drawing out of new floss from the floss box that the mint powder is shaken awake and starts expanding without restraint, all happy like. And I’ve begun to worry about the powder getting into my lungs. Sure, once in awhile is of no consequence, but think of the combined inadvertent inhalations of powder over many thousands of flossings. Is all this talk of inhaling powder a subtle reference to an illegal drug? No, and for those of you who think so, you’re reading too much into it. In sum, my fear of the long term consequences of inhaling the mint powder has reduced my opinion of the woven floss.

And as for the experience which heightened my opinion of one of the alternatives: I happened to try johnson-johnson reach mint waxed floss and I decided it wasn’t half bad. It left a quite refreshing mouth feel and, while one wouldn’t expect its thin ribbon structure to clean as thoroughly as fibrous strands, the fact that there is no mint powder to speak of is a benefit which, as far as I’m concerned, outweighs its inferior texture.